"Most people get more love than they deserve." - Bertold Brecht
When you marry, sex stops. When you commit, expectations rise. However, if you are seen as very incapable in the romantic department, women will struggle to make up the difference. This is why they will ignore perfectly good men and devote decades to men who only use them for sex and comfort. Women don't want a man who loves them. Women want a man they have to continually work for.
They cook for him. They take his car to the shop. They don't care if he cheats. They don't care if he is a slob or has horrible personal habits. If he is hard to get and hard to reform, he must be the greatest thing on earth.
Sadly, most women spend most of their lives on guys who aren't worth shit. That gives most other guys license to treat women any way they please. Why be devoted, or loving, or kind, or exclusive or decent - when those are the last traits women seek in a man?
Friday
Tuesday
Never Forget What Women Prefer
I've met a lot of women in the dating world who simply aren't honest about what they prefer. I decided to do an informal research study. Here are the results:
1. Donna is 80 years old. For the last forty years she has been married to her second husband who was a notorious womanizer. He stopped cheating on her around age 60. He is awful, boorish, obnoxious and painfully annoying to be around. She loves him more than God.
2. Candy is 45. She is in an on-again, off-again relationship with a man who cheats on her at least twice a year. They always get back together and she makes endless excuses for him, but loves him unconditionally.
3. Renee is 29. She has a boyfriend who hits her and screams at her, but of course they always make up and then she gets all excited about the hot sex that happens afterward. Yeah, those bruises and police visits are really hot, aren't they? Sheesh.
Women prefer assholes, so don't disappoint them. They simply don't like decent guys and will break the hearts of dozens of good guys in order to find the one guy who will make them miserable. I've had women argue with me that only "unhealthy" women prefer the shitheads, but I've found it to be true that most women adore the creeps and take a pass on the nice guys.
It is interesting that this has it's advantages. I've always been a good-guy type, the type that women would have loved to have as a husband, say, back in 1950. I've found that I'm able to score with a lot of girls that just want a man to love them, and make them feel valuable and pretty. I go in, have a lot of fun sexually and let them treat me like a king, then I allow their Mr. Wonderful come back into their life and I leave. I get to be both the good guy and the player, and they have to go back to their jerk (which is really where they want to be).
Think I'm nuts? If you remember that women thrive on emotion, you'll realize that they need drama, pain and tears. They need the jerks and assholes. They don't want or need a good guy. But eventually, the pain is simply too much and they need the diversion of a good guy, if only to truly feel loved for a short time. That is the time to enjoy yourself and take advantage of the situation.
1. Donna is 80 years old. For the last forty years she has been married to her second husband who was a notorious womanizer. He stopped cheating on her around age 60. He is awful, boorish, obnoxious and painfully annoying to be around. She loves him more than God.
2. Candy is 45. She is in an on-again, off-again relationship with a man who cheats on her at least twice a year. They always get back together and she makes endless excuses for him, but loves him unconditionally.
3. Renee is 29. She has a boyfriend who hits her and screams at her, but of course they always make up and then she gets all excited about the hot sex that happens afterward. Yeah, those bruises and police visits are really hot, aren't they? Sheesh.
Women prefer assholes, so don't disappoint them. They simply don't like decent guys and will break the hearts of dozens of good guys in order to find the one guy who will make them miserable. I've had women argue with me that only "unhealthy" women prefer the shitheads, but I've found it to be true that most women adore the creeps and take a pass on the nice guys.
It is interesting that this has it's advantages. I've always been a good-guy type, the type that women would have loved to have as a husband, say, back in 1950. I've found that I'm able to score with a lot of girls that just want a man to love them, and make them feel valuable and pretty. I go in, have a lot of fun sexually and let them treat me like a king, then I allow their Mr. Wonderful come back into their life and I leave. I get to be both the good guy and the player, and they have to go back to their jerk (which is really where they want to be).
Think I'm nuts? If you remember that women thrive on emotion, you'll realize that they need drama, pain and tears. They need the jerks and assholes. They don't want or need a good guy. But eventually, the pain is simply too much and they need the diversion of a good guy, if only to truly feel loved for a short time. That is the time to enjoy yourself and take advantage of the situation.
Friday
Mr Wonderful, yet again...
The fun thing about dating women over 30 is that there is always a Mr. Wonderful in the past. This has come up in other discussions on other boards, but it bears revisiting.
Many women attach to a certain guy in their past they simply cannot get away from. You can use this to your advantage. In my most recent relationship, I allowed this woman to continue phone contact with her ex-boyfriend until it became an issue. She then asked me if it would make me happy if she would tell him never to call again. At this point I'd already had my 90 days of "new romance - great sex". It was time to move on. I replied to her "No, I can't tell you what to do. Your interaction with him is none of my business. If you forgave him for all the stuff he did and you'll still take his phone calls, I think you still have a very strong romantic love for him."
Notice what I just did. To any guy, what I said sounds stupid beyond belief. Yet to a woman, it sounds like some profound insight. Remember that women work on feelings, on emotions. I told her that I have no business in her relationship with her ex - and that she still must have very strong love for him. I basically reframed the discussion. Instead of being "new boyfriend has hangups", I turned it into "girl still longs for ex-boyfriend even though she thought she loved new guy".
She's still working it out with her ex so I'm laying low and pretending to be extra busy with work so I haven't seen her in a few days. Her family and friends are furious with her for thinking about giving up a good guy to return to the biggest turd she ever dated.
I've done this over and over. I'm only interested in the "new romance" time when everything is easy-going and the sex is incredible. Then after the first "I love you's" are over, I artfully move them back to a focus on their ex. It doesn't take long. Most women would date Charles Manson over a decent, kind man. They are thrilled by the drama and love the constant breaking up and getting back together. I don't care for all that drama so I just check in for a few happy months, then move on. Take everything they can offer, because they would rather give it to a guy who isn't worth shit.
Of course, there is a parting gift. I've had several women tell me that breaking up with a good guy (me), was far more painful than breakups with the jerks. I even had one say "You hurt me more than you could ever imagine." - and this is after she broke things off with me to be with a jerk ex-boyfriend.
Meet, romance, get into bed quickly. Enjoy yourself, but then remind them that their Mr. Wonderful is who they should be with. Do this tactfully. When things fall apart, she is back with her crappy guy. With luck, she'll have profound regrets that she lost you. You got what you wanted, a short term romance with lots of sex. She got what she wanted, emotional drama and getting back with her ex. Everyone is happy.
Many women attach to a certain guy in their past they simply cannot get away from. You can use this to your advantage. In my most recent relationship, I allowed this woman to continue phone contact with her ex-boyfriend until it became an issue. She then asked me if it would make me happy if she would tell him never to call again. At this point I'd already had my 90 days of "new romance - great sex". It was time to move on. I replied to her "No, I can't tell you what to do. Your interaction with him is none of my business. If you forgave him for all the stuff he did and you'll still take his phone calls, I think you still have a very strong romantic love for him."
Notice what I just did. To any guy, what I said sounds stupid beyond belief. Yet to a woman, it sounds like some profound insight. Remember that women work on feelings, on emotions. I told her that I have no business in her relationship with her ex - and that she still must have very strong love for him. I basically reframed the discussion. Instead of being "new boyfriend has hangups", I turned it into "girl still longs for ex-boyfriend even though she thought she loved new guy".
She's still working it out with her ex so I'm laying low and pretending to be extra busy with work so I haven't seen her in a few days. Her family and friends are furious with her for thinking about giving up a good guy to return to the biggest turd she ever dated.
I've done this over and over. I'm only interested in the "new romance" time when everything is easy-going and the sex is incredible. Then after the first "I love you's" are over, I artfully move them back to a focus on their ex. It doesn't take long. Most women would date Charles Manson over a decent, kind man. They are thrilled by the drama and love the constant breaking up and getting back together. I don't care for all that drama so I just check in for a few happy months, then move on. Take everything they can offer, because they would rather give it to a guy who isn't worth shit.
Of course, there is a parting gift. I've had several women tell me that breaking up with a good guy (me), was far more painful than breakups with the jerks. I even had one say "You hurt me more than you could ever imagine." - and this is after she broke things off with me to be with a jerk ex-boyfriend.
Meet, romance, get into bed quickly. Enjoy yourself, but then remind them that their Mr. Wonderful is who they should be with. Do this tactfully. When things fall apart, she is back with her crappy guy. With luck, she'll have profound regrets that she lost you. You got what you wanted, a short term romance with lots of sex. She got what she wanted, emotional drama and getting back with her ex. Everyone is happy.
Tuesday
My Relationship
My time with the current girlfriend has been interesting. It's been six weeks and the sex is still great, but I already feel myself compelled to look around. She is painfully sweet and a good girl but I know she could do better than me. It is the kind of relationship that people dream of - but almost never find. She's sterile - tried to have children with the ex-husband, so we get to have unprotected sex all the time. She has money, so I could be a kept man, but I'm still keeping my options open.
At least I'm obeying my own rules: I'm only in a relationship when its all to my advantage.
At least I'm obeying my own rules: I'm only in a relationship when its all to my advantage.
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