Mr Wonderful, yet again...

The fun thing about dating women over 30 is that there is always a Mr. Wonderful in the past. This has come up in other discussions on other boards, but it bears revisiting.

Many women attach to a certain guy in their past they simply cannot get away from. You can use this to your advantage. In my most recent relationship, I allowed this woman to continue phone contact with her ex-boyfriend until it became an issue. She then asked me if it would make me happy if she would tell him never to call again. At this point I'd already had my 90 days of "new romance - great sex". It was time to move on. I replied to her "No, I can't tell you what to do. Your interaction with him is none of my business. If you forgave him for all the stuff he did and you'll still take his phone calls, I think you still have a very strong romantic love for him."

Notice what I just did. To any guy, what I said sounds stupid beyond belief. Yet to a woman, it sounds like some profound insight. Remember that women work on feelings, on emotions. I told her that I have no business in her relationship with her ex - and that she still must have very strong love for him. I basically reframed the discussion. Instead of being "new boyfriend has hangups", I turned it into "girl still longs for ex-boyfriend even though she thought she loved new guy".

She's still working it out with her ex so I'm laying low and pretending to be extra busy with work so I haven't seen her in a few days. Her family and friends are furious with her for thinking about giving up a good guy to return to the biggest turd she ever dated.

I've done this over and over. I'm only interested in the "new romance" time when everything is easy-going and the sex is incredible. Then after the first "I love you's" are over, I artfully move them back to a focus on their ex. It doesn't take long. Most women would date Charles Manson over a decent, kind man. They are thrilled by the drama and love the constant breaking up and getting back together. I don't care for all that drama so I just check in for a few happy months, then move on. Take everything they can offer, because they would rather give it to a guy who isn't worth shit.

Of course, there is a parting gift. I've had several women tell me that breaking up with a good guy (me), was far more painful than breakups with the jerks. I even had one say "You hurt me more than you could ever imagine." - and this is after she broke things off with me to be with a jerk ex-boyfriend.

Meet, romance, get into bed quickly. Enjoy yourself, but then remind them that their Mr. Wonderful is who they should be with. Do this tactfully. When things fall apart, she is back with her crappy guy. With luck, she'll have profound regrets that she lost you. You got what you wanted, a short term romance with lots of sex. She got what she wanted, emotional drama and getting back with her ex. Everyone is happy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You've got it down pat!

This is the best way to play the game.